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As expected, KISS went hard at Madison Square Garden, but for me did not capture the excitement or emotion of the previous three concerts I'd witnessed this week. KISS is not a band in the sense of Pearl Jam or The E Street Band, where a band of brothers bounce off one another and the audience and where anything could happen. KISS is Paul Stanley telling everyone how good they are and three other guys doing their thing on cue to the plan. To give them their credit, it was a good 'show' – but more along the lines of a Broadway Show - not a spontaneous rock concert. It was scripted, it was clichéd and it was all songs about about their dicks.
No doubt, KISS put on a spectacular show and have influenced many glam bands since - there are pyrotechnics, fireballs, a massive light show and theatrics, but you can’t help thinking that apart from the obligatory: ’We love you New York, you’re the best’, this show really was paint by numbers. None the less, the New York crowd of KISS Army devotees lapped it up and truly believed they’d witnessed the best show of all time. I, however, walked away knowing I’d never again bother to see KISS - even if they do make it out to Perth. Their best days were in the 70s, but now they are a parody of themselves and they, and their fans are the ones who don’t yet get the joke - but as long as the cash registers are ringing, they'll be playing.
The first thing that hit me about the show was the fan base they draw in NYC. This was a rough crowd. The vibe was very different to what I like at a concert. The testosterone and aggression feeding from the crowd was one that did not give the blessed out feeling that a good concert gives, it was more a “I’d best keep my defences up and be aware of who is around me in case I have to fight my way out of here.” Maybe this is because I was sitting new a dickwit biker and his skank who obviously got off on intimidation and image. The guy stood about five foot tall and if he’d started any shit with me I could have probably taken him out if need be, but his vibe affected everyone around him. Looking around the auditorium, it seemed there were many of them - more of them than there was of us. I’ve done gigs for Coffin Cheaters, and those guys are gentlemen compared to some of the the dicks I saw here. Thank fuck for Allen's Martial Arts and the years of kickboxing I did I thought.
The opening band, Buckcherry, were very forgettable. A bunch of cock rockers who run on ego, cliche and a huge chunk of copying bands such as Motley Crew and other glam rock acts whose day has long since gone. Their only good moment was their cover of Deep Purple’s “Highway Star” which sounded great, but you really needed to close your eyes and not look at these peanuts prancing around like their shit tastes like chocolate. Nuff said about this band of unoriginal wannabe cockstars. Yes, I said cockstars, that was not a typo - surely putting a cordless mic in ya pants and rooting the air went out a long time ago?
KISS hit the stage following the greatest lie in rock – “Alright New York, you wanted the best, you got the best, the hottest band in the world... KISS”. Obviously the announcer had not seen Pearl Jam or even Bruce Springsteen the night before – or even some of the great Aussie bands getting around, but I’ll forgive his ignorance. Lowered onto the stage via a sparking and smoking platform, Gene, Paul and Tommy (playing Ace), Eric Singer (playing Peter) was behind his impressive drum kit. They opened with Deuce and sounded great. It was an awesome rendition of the song and the crowd were fully into it.
After this came a heap of songs from earlier in their career that Paul Stanley announced as ‘classics’. Yes, they were obviously classic songs to the true fans, but were basic 70s cock rock without the melody or complexity of other bands of that or other eras. Most were based on standard 12 bar blues rock riffs and once again, the main topic was their dicks and what they like to do with them. KISS obviously know their music does not stand out from the crowd and it was the stage show that made up for it – more pyros, smoke pots, and lights – but not a whole lot of musical integrity. ‘Shout It Out Loud’ was pretty spectacular and showcased what they are good at which it throwaway rock songs that mean nothing but numb your mind.
Stanley showed what a tool he is by shouting how the band was unlike others and didn’t try to bring to your attention political or social issues, instead he was going to ignore all the troubles in the world and used this apathy as the launching pad into ‘Rock’n’Roll All Nite’. The quality of the audience was shown by the fact they all applauded this – my guess is most of them voted for and loved GW Bush. This just went to prove that for KISS they don't put their money where their mouth is - they put their mouth anywhere there is money and tonight, there was planty of money to be made.
We got one song off the new album and a procession of classics and classic classics – Stanley’s words, not mine. Stanley really gave me the shits for most of the night. The guy still screams into the microphone instead of talking and prances around like a ‘Kansas City Faggot’ – I’m not homophobic – I ripped that off from Blazing Saddles and it seemed appropriate. He also sledged other bands regularly saying how much better KISS was and how they give their fans so much more. By giving them more, he means taking more – tour shirts started at $45, to get the bootleg of the night was $30 and they did not encore. They did, but it was planned, they walked off and came back with the songs everyone was waiting to hear. He spoils the show and I found new respect for Gene who for once in his life said nothing.
Kiss left it until late in the night to rip out the hits but no I Was Made For Loving You, No Strutter, No Beth, no Shandi. The final set had Love Gun, complete with Stanley flying out into the audience about 5 metres from my seat; it ended with Detroit Rock City which was pretty good. I got a fair few pictures and video from the night but can’t imagine spending much time looking at them.
While the concert was spectacular, I did leave wondering if I actually enjoyed it and was glad to see the end of it. The best part of the night was walking through Time Square on the way home and now being able to say I have seen a show at Maddison Square Garden. Maybe I should have seen Mamma Mia on Broadway?
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